Did you get support from friends and family after leaving him? I can see from your posts that you have major issues with men, but please dont filter the Bible through your own experiences. Beyond praying for their victims, and calling the police in instances where we have knowledge of actual abuse, there is nothing we can do or say that will make a difference. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. It is insidious that this practice has continued in the name of God and Christianity. (LogOut/ Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline You should address your own problems before aspiring to protect people against themselves. And no, the experiences, however bad, do not nullify the word of God. It isnt called getting hit. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Just as with contracts, there can be duress in various forms, be it a demotion and other forms of financial abuse, bad grades and other forms of potentially public defamation, and just the simple threat of increased violence. BDSM is not recommended for all Christians, but safe and responsible BDSM has the potential to enhance intimacy and strengthen marriages. My husband was referred to your website awhile ago and presented me with this lifestyle. WebJennas Punishment Spanking (Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage #1) During a disagreement, Jenna storms out of the house without telling her husband where she's going. Christian Good intentions yield more good intentions. Nor, based on his presentation here, did it ever occur to me to just assume that Lone Voice is a Christian. Im just so pleased to know that you were able to break free. It is associated with the ego deflation experienced by one who really, really wishes to say something pointed and clever, but they just cant put their hands on anything of sufficient substance. a forensic psychologist who evaluates and treats sexual psychopaths and is the author of a book on abuse. This is your warning. Male headship is followed all over the world.. I dont expect you to see it. For instance if my hubby is asking me to do something I believe isnt in my best interests I simply refuse. Previously I have shown Domestic Discipline to be both a Biblical concept as well as a historical practice amongst husbands for thousands of years on my Instagram page @biblicalsexandiscipline and on my blog Biblicalgenderroles.com as well as podcasts series on BGRLearning.com. Beautiful Surrender: 13 Godly Christian Wives He has this idea that he loves to spoil me sometimes but will never have a spoiled wife. So people actually choose to add their prefered dose of physical disciplining to leverage these psychological effects, it is an extra tool they use as part of their commitment to make things work with regards to the shared vision they have for their life (in which you have no business). The one thing that surprised me was how happy all the married couples were. When I was growing up, it was not in a household that practiced Christian Domestic Discipline. I would commit some offense that my parents/husband thought was wrong, I was told I was going to be punished, I would end up over a lap and afterward would be told to pray. It was about a year ago now. Similarly, abusing men need to be taken to task (no, I dont know how, and in some cases they just never will be) but the fact of their existence does not mean God was wrong to say that the man is the head of the wife and that he shall rule over thee. I was moving from one bad relationship to another, so she invited me to a prayer group she went to. I think you are exactly right. My parents were a little surprised at first but I think they see spanking as not the same as abuse. Ok, so this is more widespread than I suspected if its crossing over into charismatic churches. Justice is not a consensual relationship. For this is also the main way families have been organized for thousands of years. Do not expect her to be silent through this experience though. I debated putting this in the Godly ladies' thread but decided that I would risk my reputation to be thought of as forward because this is just too good to keep from men. In the 70s went screaming for Radio Talk Show Host to interview abused women in the church; we havent come far have we? Yes, many Muslims and Hindus follow male headship. Here spanking children is not illegal per se, but it does have its limits. AND GUESS WHAT?? God was saying that, in our post-paradisal state, spousal relationships would become much harder, in part because many men would be tempted to become abusive and domineering. Domestic For better or worse, most states had laws restricting what was allowable between husband and wife in the bedroom. Christianity is a great world view for men who know very well they are unwanted by most women. (1 Cor 7:4), the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Satan only quoted scripture in the Temptations once, when he ran out of patience, because our gracious Lord was quoting scripture to him every single time, from the book of Deuteronomy. I have learned that he LOVES!! Domestic Do you have any children? Im thinking about creating one.. Im absolutely confused, from reading these testimonials and some of these comments I dont know of you are serious. But God does miracles and he can deal with your pain, as bad as it is. If adults have the right to spank those who disagree with them, well, I shudder to think of all the spank-fests thatd happen on every count; in every church meeting, every work-place. I would however disagree with the notion that these laws were well-inspired. Its one thing when it is a Ray Rice situation like in the news now. Michael is worried sick over his wife's whereabouts, and he's determined to put a stop to her irresponsible behavior. We had a post on this a while ago in some marriages, yes. It seems like my husbands leadership skills have developed so strongly. (LogOut/ You are even free to self-congratulate and to think that your lifestyle makes you morally superior to others. No, no previous assumptions, just submitting to the plain word of God will do for me. I did go back and find the entire 700 club episode from that day and InContext it was very understandable. Resistance During a Spanking His mother had passed away long ago and his father died shortly after our wedding and I never got to talk to him much. Especially when you factor in that they are free to leave these relationships anytime. Rather he actually comes abusing by accusing. Discipline spanking on the bottom is NOT abuse, its called just that, discipline. I agree with you also but I dont agree on what some people say about pastors Spanking other peoples wives and brothers Spanking their sisters and son spanking their mothers I mean that just Blows my mind away right there I think if its between a husband and his wife only then whatever floats their boat more power to them, Ruth, how old are you? s Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage Our pastor teaches us how the Lord puts our Husbands over us as our masters. If you are truly interested in learning more about that folly, there are plenty of websites and blogs and practicers on the internet. Men are not the loving protectors that some claim that they should be under sexist teachings such as gender complementarianism.. We were soon an item and when marriage started to be a clear part of our future, I nervously brought up the subject of CDD. While he never threatened my life physically and I still think he would never have that in him, the fact is that the abuse did threaten my life in terms of making me feel very alone and afraid not very good inside. General: Dont like scripture when it disagrees with your prejudices, you guys, do you? You sit there on your high horse telling a survivor what her recovery should look like. I would find that approach must less objectionable. I grew up in a very conservative, Southern household and was spanked at home until I left. 1. Resistance During a Spanking This may help you win a popularity contest in this community, but if you really are a spiritual man and aspire to justice, I would quote Proverbs 28:5 : Evil men do not understand justice, But those who seek the LORD understand all things. And like you, I really enjoy being described as a feministit means a ton of different things, but generally its not something I get accused of, either. What does that actually mean? After everything shes been through at the hands of bible-spouting men, I wouldnt be surprised if shes given up on the faith. It took a long time for me to have the strength to leave him. Jamin would look at porn and tell [redacted] it was her fault he was looking at porn on the computer. Since then, the most common search term whichbrings people to the blog iswife spanking. Some of the search phrases make me want to vomit. When this day happens, the laws will already have been written but will not be enforced or taken seriously anymore, so with many regards, the state of women will be worse than it used to be because theyll be nothing clear they can do to improve their fate. I imagine the biggest thing other women might be experiencing is that embarrassment, demoralizing, and feeling very disempowered. My suggestion that the word forgiveness gets employed as an F word equivalent is not original to me. I see only 3.5% of Americans traveled overseas in 2009 (when the study was done). My husband is in seminary to be a music minister and I noticed that he doesnt spank me like he used to. Now I have a renewed confidence in our decision to live a CDD (Christian Domestic Discipline) lifestyle.Hubby also informed me that we are going to be working on a habit I have that he cant stand. No this is not like the playground bully. The definition Im using with the word submissive is the biblical definition of that. Does anyone have advice? Anonymous, christianddgroup.typepad.com, 13. Except the exegeises you have been taught, does contradict. Domestic From what you describe, it sounds like he had a sense of entitlement over you you were an object to be owned rather than a cherished wife to be treasured and loved. I do not ask you to embrace this way of life, the only thing I ask you is to stop being on the wrong side of history with these disguting tactics. If some of them change their mind at some point, this is ok, but their testimonies do not make the lifestyle an abuse. Specifically, those which would facilitate the investigation and assessment of, and protection his threats of extreme retribution if she were to make public her treatment, pursue legal action, or leave the relationship. Not a single male rose to my defense. Does that make bullying okay? Careful, Julie Anne, true alpha females dont go over the top. They took all her her clothes off in front of everybody and then she got a spanking by the Pastor and her husband with their belts. Hes made the right call. Wait? @Mark You are convinced that a woman can only be tricked into that kind of relationship, and you have decided to be quite closed minded with this regard to the extent that you think that people who think otherwise are sick. In this first article we will demonstrate how the practice of domestic discipline aligns perfectly with Biblical principles and commands regarding marriage. Wifes getting spanked like being spanked. When a young woman still living in her fathers household makes a vow to the Lord or obligates herself by a pledge Would Jesus (bad word) the church against the churches will? I still receive punishment spankings for things, but they are not very often anymore. Or were they connected with teachings similar to an article I wrote, Wife Undermines Her Husbands Authority in Front of Children, He DisciplinesHer? You just posted most of my rapist and fathers favorite bible verses. I would like to give a example: The husband asked the wife to wash the dishes she said tomorrow that resulted in a spanking. It got to the point that I would make myself cry almost as soon as he started to spank me and would get 3 swat spankings and a I hope in the future you remember this. I did cry as soon as possible. . She has has been hospitalized many times due to his abuse but somehow he has used his position and influence to escape legal action each time. Now, some Christian ladies are happy to accept the term feminism and apply it to themselves, so long as it is defined as something like the belief that women are equal to men and should be treated with respect by all. He is giving me enough leeway so I am not really stressed about it, and since our test spank, I know what Im in for if I fail. You are interpreting the Scriptures in error, just as the Pharisees did. And then after that we will spend several articles looking at cultural views of domestic discipline in America before the modern age. James truly believed in So husbands are not unilaterally to refuse conjugal relations to the wives, nor vice versa. I know some of each do as a weapon. Or did he simply say a prayer for him and his wife, that they would be able to work it out in a godly way? Never, dear Julie Anne, not for one second, did I imagine you would have the remotest understanding let alone any empathy for what I was trying to express. Was your church aware of what was going on? If it makes it hotter for them to mix in some faith? And with that final parting shot, we can all say good bye and good riddance to Lone Voice. _Benevolent sexism: Men who open doors for women can be as sexist as those who are rude to them, study finds_. No one is tricked or trapped into that, even if you seem to have the concerning desire to save people from themselves because it just cant be right. It contains articles on spanking in marriage, as well as advice on leading the home. Its not called beatings or abuse, which is what it is. Then my dad and my husband had coffee while I stood in the corner and dad talked to my husband about being head of household. Because my Jack is taking the lead. Many people even literally proceed in the manner I have just described. Your attempt to broad brush all who disagree with you as feminists does not work. A Lone Voice just proves him/herself to be another dime-a-dozen abuser. Feminism is merely a modern Western aberration. . You think you are just but you are what the Bible calls a mocker. As a man and a Christian myself, I think all Christians need to listen to these stories. Spare the rod, spoil the wife I got a terrible strapping, my behind was on fire when my husband put me in the corner. 1 Peter 3:7. Im about the only one here who actually quotes scripture. Thats too much? Instead, they wanted to know what I had done wrong to need to be punished and felt that I had abandoned my wedding vows when I left him. Wife Spanking, Christian Domestic Discipline, Domestic Violence *** You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. Domestic Discipline Send in your testimonials! I personally do not support enforcing religious views by law because I believe in God-given freewill. It is not because you happen to discover it now that it is new thing. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. The professionals in DV services are trained (or should be trained!) Just chalk it up to your personal preference and call it a day. Our opinions dont matter when our husbands spanks us. In 1Cor 7:4, the wife and the husband having power or authority over each others bodies is in the context of them not refusing each other conjugal relations (due benevolence). You have also obviously been influenced by kinky secular culture, such as books and films that promote S&M. It took such a long time because that line had been blurred from growing up and then being married. Domestic Discipline is the same sort of addictive behavior. Such as, not seeing them alone, only meeting in public, and if you need overnight accommodations to see them, NEVER stay at their place or let them stay at yours. James truly believed in You take it up with him. Other times, my husband will listen, thank me for my input, but tell me that we are going to go with another answer. I have neither the time (nor the talent) to write an entire book, so I'll recommend instead the following book. BeenThereDoneThat, No, actually, you cant. You can get in my face and scream it, and it still wont be a proof. Gen 3:16 Unto the woman he said, thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. It is not for you to determine someones path of recovery. The Bible says I must obey my husband in all things, our minister always repeats this in our bible study. If he loved his wife he would not want her to have sex against her will, if Christian men loved women they would not want them to have sex against their will. The all knowing psychologist above is concerned with a relationship that infantilizes a woman. Me too. Here is the link: https://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2016/06/30/wife-asks-for-input-regarding-her-husband-who-paddles-her/. For example: Evil men do not understand justice, But those who seek the LORD understand all things. For instance, those who practice domestic discipline often cite scripture that calls for wives to submit to their husbands. A few folks are gonna paddle each other. Thankfully my friend helped me move and helped me get set up and even helped me secure a job. ), You said, Dont just say my position is not Biblical, argue it, prove it from scripture, of course.. People here sound like anecdotes outraged them so they decided to throw the baby with the water and prosecute, prosecute, prosecute no matter what. There is a beautiful surrender that comes with allowing myself to be vulnerable and submissive. Guided Wife A blog on my desire to be virtuous and submissive The article was popular with over 600 comments. My dad spanked me before I got married a lot but he doesnt really spank me much anymore but Ben said he can if he wants to. Trouble is, he will not be able to help himself. There is a judge and there is a criminal, the judge proclaims a sentence against the criminal which is carried out. I think nobody bothered to really answer because your self-proclaimed moral superiority, and arrogant psychiatric doctor tone make you guys look close-minded and beyond hope. People are lost and growing frustrated). You can literally make the Bible say just about anything you want with some crafty proof-texting. Thanks again! You went from your father as protector/provider/authority to your husband as protector/provider/authority. Just to let you know that this comment section is an echo chamber of better than thou and how can this folly even exist people. I dont believe Bill Gothard is a Christian, I think he is a sadistic man that worships himself and wants other people to worship him. 1 Peter 3:7. If kink is your thing, thats your thing, but dont sit there and try to convince me or anyone else you got kink from the Bible because you sure as heck did not. Here is my question to you: are you implying that the woman is a victim even if this situation and cannot truly consent? It was there that I met Christ and started down my path to happiness. Welcome to grown up land folks. What is Christian domestic discipline The second thing we were asked was for Ben to spank me in front of Pastor and his wife. Yes, that makes a lot of sense it was a normal progression for you. Christian Domestic Discipline Christian Domestic Discipline, wife spanking, Christian Patriarchy Movement, Spanking of Adult Children, Denominational Practices and teachings Two summers ago, I received a phone call from a pastor who shared his growing concern about wife-spanking in his family of churches. its called, http://lisasjoydd.blogspot.com. And no, the experiences, however bad, do not nullify the word of God. My bad experiences hardened me and now my marriage is helping me relax my rigid boundaries.I always said that I would never leave the city and here I am willingly becoming a country housewife. Mrs. Submission, christianforums.net, 10. Dont let him have the victory for a day longer. Christian Domestic Discipline If you are really interested in having an informed opinion, a good starting point would be to search getting started with domestic discipline on the internet. But you dont know whether shes a Christian. These three core values are essential: Communication, Consent, & Compassion. Im afraid were wasting our time attempting to engage somebody who justifies the abuse of women. Was your church part of a particular denomination? He demanded that his wife call him sir.. Jesus bucked the patriarchal norms of his own culture to teach women. As far as justice is concerned, I do not think that Rock was saying that Domestic Discipline is justice. Should we follow suit? Do not strike faces or heads 1986). This wife did not like getting spanked. And, isnt that just your whole argument? It's not a book on Christian Domestic Discipline, but on Domestic Discipline and was written by a woman. She has been assured by her family that even if she were able to successfully facilitate legal action and prison time for her husband and father, that other members of their community would come after her. You are going to have to move to a place of forgiveness. Jamin replied to Sgt. My husband tells me all the time how proud he is of the woman I have become. And you just assume I am a man because it never enters your intolerant head that a woman could actually want to put herself under her husbands headship. Before we left he decided he had had enough and took me to our room and spanked me. Cant get strength that will defend them a la Roy Rogers, so you get strength that will slap you around a la Gray or John Wayne in his worse moments. But I know that some abusers prevent their victims from using the internet or they cyberstalk their activities on the web. This posthas been very difficult for me emotionally. As a sexually abused little girl growing up in misogynistic Christianity I always felt like god was my pimp. Unless I agree with you 100%, Im outside of the will of God? They plan these relationships and there is no knowledge asymmetry. WebBDSM provides a helpful framework for communication and safe, consensual exploration. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart! There is plenty of information out there, why dont you do your research instead of spreading intolerance and hatry. Advocating for women being in leadership is asking for equality and for what the Bible teaches; that is not feminism.. There are in fact right wingers and conservative Christians who take the Bible literally yet who also reject the gender complementarian position (which is what you are advocating). Are there other women is situations this dire? We have six wives and 8 unmarried women including our daughters in the class. [redacted] is originally from England and is unfamiliar with local laws and believed Jamin. My father and two of my grandfathers had no business leading, and had no business having authority. Even the words used I think make some women question whether it is wrong or not. I Hate that Thing: The Loop Did Lauren and her husband have any connections withthe Patriarchy Movement? I know its hard, but it must be do-able by the grace of God and the power of Holy Spirit because our Lord Jesus said: Carrie, what conclusion did Pat Robertson come up with to help this husband? I would be fine with the term myself if used in that manner, but the word feminism unfortunately is usually associated with left wing, radical types who tend to do things like support abortion, and a lot of them vote Democrat. If you are currently living (or have lived) the Christian Domestic Discipline lifestyle and you would like to share how it has helped your marriage or relationship, please email your story and mention that you wish to share your experiences with other people. I dont consider Christian mutuality to be the same thing as feminism, though there may some Christian women in the egalitarian community who are fine using the word feminism for themselves. Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline maybe a directory of churches and communities, that still get it, would help .
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